Long Story Short: My Mother Knows I’m Bi

I wanted to write about this and what happened because even though it’s been a week or so I’m still trying to digest it. I wasn’t expecting it because her finding out was an accident.

So here’s what happened. My mom was talking on the phone to her step mom and said something along the lines of “She’s dating a guy right now but I’m just not sure.” I, of course, was not home at the time, but was at work. So my brother, overhearing the conversation, tried to text me “gay” so he’d remember to tell me about it when I got home. Why he didn’t text me what happened is a mystery to me. However, he sent this to our mother instead.

And unable to think of a reason why he texted her that, he told her. To which she responded “I thought so.” He was able to warn me about what happened before I had to interact with her. It was an awkward ride home though.

However, she didn’t bring it up right away. She brought it up a few days later by mentioning that my brother had also told her that one of his friends just came out as bi. And my mom mentioned this to me, I forget how we got on the conversation, and I said “Yeah I knew that.” She replied “and hunter says you are too.” At that point I was like yeah okay you got me. I appreciated that she waited until we were alone to bring it up ,and she made me feel really safe about it.

It was honestly a relief. It’s still a little strange as I find myself still monitoring things I say. I try to remember I don’t have to do that anymore around her. Later that day I mentioned that I’d better get hot doctors if I were sick, and the gender of the doctors didn’t matter. It was so nice to not monitor what comes out of my mouth in fear. I told her about how I had been trying to hint to her and she said she hadn’t noticed.

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While I, and most people, would be mad at someone who revealed something that private to someone else, I think this was the push I needed. Like I’ve said in an earlier blog post, I’ve had trouble coming out to my parents for about a year now. For a while I was okay with not telling them as I wasn’t going to be bringing anyone new home to meet them. And while I didn’t bring up other genders, I think this is a start. I feel a lot freer when I’m at home now.

I know how new this is for her. She is accepting of the gay community but she is still old school. Seeing gayness out in public is something she’s not used to. I know it would be weird for her to see me kissing a girl. But, she said that she would adapt and learn and would support me no matter what. Honestly, that was the most reassuring thing I’ve heard in a while.

Overall, this was not how I was expecting to spend my last week at home. Yet I’m actually really glad it happened. I wanted to share this because I know for me, reading about other people’s coming out stories was helpful for me when I was in my confused state. I don’t know if this story will be any help to anyone, but that’s okay. Sometimes it’s reassuring to know the people who say they will love you no matter what really do when you put them in a new situation. And I’m thankful because I know not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a supporting mother.

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